4 Tips for Telling Your Children You Are Getting a Divorce

 Posted on May 12, 2020 in Family Law

As a parent, there are a lot of difficult conversations you must have with your children, such as the sex talk or informing children that a grandparent is terminally ill. However, one of the most difficult conversations you are likely to have with your kids will take place when you and your spouse decide to file for divorce. Children may react differently to the news of a divorce, depending on their age and developmental status. To help foster a positive reaction to the divorce, there are certain things you can do to make the news a little less jarring. Here are a few tips to follow when telling your children about your Wisconsin divorce:

1. Tell all of your children at the same time. If you have multiple children, you and your spouse should try to tell all of them at once. Telling an older child first is unfair, because it puts the burden on him or her to either notify younger siblings or keep your secret. To avoid placing some children in a difficult position, it is better to break the news to everyone at the same time.
2. Plan out what you will say. This is a conversation that you and your spouse should not have on the spur of the moment. You both should plan out the points you want to cover and the wording you want to use when you tell your kids that your marriage is over. Even if you are harboring anger or resentment, you should present a united front to your children. This will help show them that you and your spouse will still be there for them no matter what.
3. Be supportive of their reactions. No two children are alike, and no two reactions will be alike. Children in different age groups may react differently to the news of the divorce. Younger children may not fully understand what is going on, and they may take the news into stride until they start experiencing changes to their lives. Older children may react more strongly, and they may act out in response to the divorce by rebelling and engaging in disobedient or harmful behaviors. In addition, they may take sides with one parent. To address concerns about negative behavior, you may want to consider having children see a therapist or family counselor who can help them work through the emotions they are feeling.
4. Reassure your children that the divorce is not their fault. One common response in children whose parents get divorced is that many of them believe the divorce is their fault. Although this is a normal feeling for children whose parents are getting a divorce, you should be sure to set the record straight. Reassure your children that the divorce has nothing to do with them, and it is between you as a couple. In addition, continually remind them that you both still love them very much.

Contact a Waukesha County Divorce Attorney 

Divorce will likely be one of the most stressful and life-altering events that you and your children will go through in your lives. Although you cannot protect them from all of the disruption and pain the divorce may cause, you can help encourage a healthy reaction to the divorce. At Bucher, Wolff & Sonderhouse, LLP, we can take care of the legal details of the divorce so you can devote quality time to your family. To schedule a free consultation, call our knowledgeable New Berlin divorce lawyers today at 262-232-6699.

Sources:

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/children/how-to-tell-your-kids-that-you-are-getting-a-divorce/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-older-dad/201105/mom-and-dad-have-something-tell-you-six-tips-talking-kids-about-divorce